Journal Entry 44

29.06.2026

I arrived home this evening after a day at Parliament and felt nothing except emptiness. The house was quiet. Emma and Otto were in town enjoying their independence. Fräulein Heng was still on holiday in Singapore, and my Haushälterinnen retired from their duties for the evening.

I miss Karina. Our home is not the same without her. I miss her laughs resonating through the hallways. I miss the smell of her perfume that stayed with me throughout the day after she hugged me as I rushed towards my workday. I miss cuddling Karina in bed as we fall asleep each night. I miss her sincere concern for my well-being after a dreadful day.

I am not sure why I am feeling melancholy. Just days ago, I was enjoying myself while in China and Singapore. Now, I am alone. Everything has changed since Karina left us. Everything has changed since the Queen left us. Everything has changed since the attempted coup.

I have been presenting my best face for my family, my King, and my country, Dorstenland. Sometimes it feels fake and dishonest. I know I need to, no, I must, process my loss. Our loss. Dorstenland’s loss. The world’s loss.

My dearest journal, bear with me as I come to terms with the past, present, and future. It is necessary for me to tell you my story. It is also important for me to share with you something I am feeling that terrifies me yet excites me in a way I have never felt before.